Can you answer the question: “What do I want to be creating in my life?”
For many of us, the answer is no, or ‘sort of’. Having clarity about what we want is not easy. We don’t typically slow down enough to know what we really want. We are pulled along by what others want from or for us – our partners, our children, our co-workers , our leaders – and by our human needs – to eat, sleep, move – and by the demands of the 24X7 world we live in, where something is always inviting us to give it our attention.
I remember being asked the question “What do you want?” in a workshop and being surprised that I did not have an answer. At the time, with encouragement, I discovered that I wanted to ‘find my joy’. Until that moment, I didn’t know it was lost, and I didn’t really know what that meant. It’s taken 11 years of consistent curiosity and exploration to begin to have an answer. I want to create alignment; that is, I want to be in integrity, living my life and doing my work in a way that honors who I am. My answer has evolved with time, and I’m sure will continue to take shape.
So how do you create greater clarity and live more intentionally?
Being in integrity requires that I have clarity about who I actually am. And, finding the answer to that requires my attention. I take 10-60 minutes each morning to read something inspiring, journal about my fears/feelings/fantasies, practice gentle yoga, and/or meditate. How I start on a given day is influenced by my schedule and the energy of the moment. I find this time is like food or exercise; without it, I don’t feel healthy, and with it, I feel vibrant and alive. It wakes me up and sets a tone for the day.
I find that personal challenges are powerful engines of self-discovery. “Why does she make me angry?” “Why am I resisting?” “Why am I bored?” “Why am I distracted?” In fact, a breast cancer diagnosis pulled me very deeply into a journey with my emotions. It was by exploring the darkness that I ultimately found greater light. Of course, positive experiences are also great tools for self reflection and insight. I can just as easily consider: “Why was that conversation so uplifting?” “Why do things feel easy and fun right now?”
Third, visualize what you want to create. Make your desired reality concrete. Envision how you are feeling, what you are thinking, what you are doing, where you are, who you are with. Immerse yourself in the experience…what do you see, hear, smell, taste? Recording your vision in some way can help solidify it.
What you want to create may be big or small, in the present or the future: a feeling, an experience, an impact; a goal for the day, a career aspiration, your legacy. I’ve captured what I want – my vision for something – in varied ways. I love to write so I’ve captured it via informal notes in my journal and as poems. I’ve made collages with magazine cuttings and created word clouds to crystallize my vision. I’ve talked with family and friends about my dreams and shared the future I want to move toward with my teams at work. You may find other ways – perhaps artistic expression such as painting or drawing, or sculpture, or short video. The ways are endless.
* Photos are from one of my favorite places for quiet reflection – San Agustinillo, Oaxaca, Mexico
Previously posted on the Office Worker Health blog: 3 Tips for Building More Intentionality Into Your Life.